For Nelson, speaking genuinely was simply an extension of how
she has tried to live her life, beginning with her youth in Eastern
Pennsylvania and then Phoenix.
“It started with a childhood decision not to worry about what others
think,” she says. “It’s so freeing. Only when you stop worrying about others’ potential judgments can you truly explore and express your own
original way of being.” Key to being herself and, not coincidentally, to
what would become her professional expertise, was being an athlete.
“As a kid, I was very tall and very athletic. It became obvious to me
at a young age that I couldn’t become a petite cheerleader,” says
Nelson, who is 6’2.” “My friends supported my athletic passions, and my
mom celebrated my height, so I had early support for authenticity.”
Likewise, her sexual orientation: She refers to herself as “being
out,” rather than “coming out,” “since I was never in the closet,” she
says. “But yes, being out is a character-building experience . . . It’s
a process of repeatedly asserting: “This is who I am, regardless of
what biases others might have.”
After graduating from Stanford in 1978, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology, she played professional basketball for
several teams, including the New Jersey Gems, in the Women’s Pro
Basketball League. She drew upon those experiences in her life and
her books.
Nelson’s evolution is ongoing. One of the most dramatic changes
she has made occurred recently, in 2004, inspired by one of her
fellow speakers. “I heard (business author) Joe Calloway’s ‘Just Let
Go’ presentation at an NSA Convention, and found myself asking,
‘What do I need to let go of?’ Turns out the answer was, ‘My whole
business.’”
After 19 years of writing and speaking for a living, Nelson discovered that she craved more teamwork, more leadership, more
learning and less travel. That’s when Nelson, who also has a master’s degree in public health, took the job as executive director of
the American Association for Physical Activity and Recreation,
whose mission is promoting active, healthy lifestyles.
“Authenticity is not a fixed, steady state,” she says. “It’s all about
becoming.”
Melissa Frederick Morrison is a freelance writer
based in Phoenix. She has written for PHOENIX
Magazine, The Dallas Morning News and The
Washington Post.
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