Speaker - July/August 2007

Communicating your message with emotion and social
intelligence

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships
By Daniel Goleman

NY: Bantam; 403 pages with notes and index; $28

Chances are you are familiar with David Goleman’s groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence. Given this new book by Goleman, here are the relevant questions: Is this book really unique, or is it a rehash of a bestseller? Is it worth the investment of my time? The answer to both questions is “yes.”

The difference in this book is the focus on neuroscience—the data obtained from brain scan technology (PET scans and MRIs)—that allows us to “see” into the brain and understand much more scientifically how our brains function as we interact with others. Social neuroscience is emerging as a new way of understanding the dynamics of communication. The speaking profession cannot afford to ignore this new technology if it hopes to continue to fine-tune the skills of the platform.

Speaking, as you know, does not exist without an audience. A speaker speaks to others, aspiring toward a moving experience, both emotional and persuasive. What does this new science of social intelligence offer to make that experience on the platform more powerful, exciting and successful?

First of all, what is social intelligence? In essence, it’s communication with awareness of the emotional effect on the listener. It involves accurate empathy, the ability to read the environment in which the communication is taking place and, of particu-

lar interest to us speakers, presenting ourselves effectively, persuasively and with concern for the listener. On the platform, this comes down to:

• reading our audiences well—knowing their needs and desires

• understanding and appreciating the context in which our talks take place, including the expectations of those who hire us

• creating a platform presence that communicates enough caring to “deliver the goods”

All this can be accomplished by tuning in very carefully to what’s really important to the audience and the situation. Once we discover that, through careful listening and research prior to the talk, then the challenge becomes how to deliver our message within that framework, all the while conveying our concern for the welfare of the group or organization—smoothly and professionally while still being entertaining.

The most crucial component of social intelligence for speakers is what author Goleman calls self-presentation. One aspect of that is charisma, “which appears at peak form in a speaker who can ‘play’ an audience, making a conceptual point with just the right emotional mix for maximum impact.” Great speakers, he contends, “use timing and rhythmic cadence

—heightening and lowering the amplitude of their voice on just the right beat—to entrain their audience. They become senders of emotion, while their audience is the recipient of this contagion.”

The expression of emotions is subtly controlled in our society, writes Goleman, “implicitly constraining both men and women.” What’s most important for establishing maximum influence, he adds, “is knowing the governing cultural norms for what’s appropriate in a given social context.” The greatest speakers, one might infer, really know each audience and how much emotion will make the most impact. It’s all about sensitivity and social intelligence. This book will certainly help along the journey on this path.