heart is great at following the head or
the gut, whichever is the most convicted. It will add intensity and feeling
to either one, whether right or wrong,
but it should not be the guide.
Listen to a heart talking:
“But I love him!”
“It would be so romantic/exotic/fun
to have a booking in the Bahamas.”
“The audience isn’t right for me,
but I feel bad turning it down after my
client’s already gone to bat for me.”
“They really like me! I’ll be a hit.”
Intelligence doesn’t guarantee that a
person will make the right decision;
many smart people make dumb choices.
Yet, most people are proud when they
analyze the facts and use logic to make
a decision. In fact, who hasn’t made a
mistake and asked, “What was I thinking? Why didn’t I use my head?” The
truth of the matter is, you did use your
head and that’s where we went wrong.
Your analyzed yourself away from the
We’ve all had a song “stuck” in our
heads, right? You can’t get the tune or
words out of your mind, and as it
becomes more and more annoying, it
gets harder and harder to make it stop.
The same thing happens when your head
handles your decisions. It weighs all the
various options, strategies, rationale and
consequences over and over again.
Inside our mind, we can talk ourselves
into or out of anything, wondering
“What if this and what if that?” All that
overanalyzing can lead to a welcome
paralysis, because it’s a safe and easy
way to avoid making a decision, especially a difficult one.
Our head is home to fear: not having
enough, making the wrong decision, what
will other people think of me? It wants a
sure-thing, slam-dunk answer. No risk,
unless it’s a precisely calculated one.
Your head speaks in complete sentences
and asks questions:
“What will people think if I . . . ?”
“It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“The last time I tried that it didn’t work.”
“What if I don’t take the lower fee
and then regret it?”
“How am I going to . . .
Go with Your Gut
The gut is the first to speak. Bob hesitated
and asked questions because his gut was
saying, “Wrong audience.” “Not my topic.”
“Don’t take it.” Then his head piped in
saying, “Hey, I know the client, the fee is
great, this is an opportunity.” Then, while
the gut repeated this isn’t a good fit, Bob’s
heart chimed in, wanting him to be nice,
cooperative, flattered and tan.
Listen to your gut. Once you recognize its voice, you will not be able to
ignore it. The more you acknowledge
it, the stronger it will become. Like
strengthening a muscle, the more you
use your gut and its “knowingness,” the
stronger it gets.
What does your gut “sound” like? It is
clear. It is right. Your gut will not give
you a reason to do or not to do something. Your gut will not elaborate.
Learn to take it on face value.
Your gut issues a command. It speaks
in statements. If you remember nothing
else, remember this: Your gut speaks in
five words or less.
“Don’t take that engagement.”
“Cancel those plans.”
If you hear more than five words, it’s
your sneaky, decision-distracting body
parts (your head and/or your heart)
Confusion Is Good
“I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”
Baloney. Yes, you do. You just don’t like
it or don’t want to do it. Your gut gave
you an answer right away. Your confusion
is fed by your head and heart as they banter back and forth trying to convince you
to ignore or second-guess your gut. Perhaps even distracting you from what you
know deep down, is the right or best
thing to do. By virtue of its presence,
confusion means you have your answer.
Confusion is a good thing because it
reminds you to listen to your gut.
What’s on your mind right now? What
does your gut say? You don’t need to be
New Age or of a certain religion, nor do
you need to stand on your head, fire walk,
or become a vegetarian to know what
your gut is telling you. All you have to
do is listen and then go with your gut.
Mary Goulet is an Internet talk show
host, book author, speaker, coach and
owner of Vision Possible! in San
Diego, Calif. In her own illustrious
careers as a former Wall Street bond
salesperson, owner of a real estate
company and a licensed holistic health
practitioner, she inspires people to
make life decisions
based on their gut
instincts. For more
Mary at www.