Speaker - April 2008

one I spent the least time with. So I asked him what could I learn from him? He said don’t make coaching or teaching about me, make it about my clients. That’s good advice for anyone in the speaking business.”

It’s a concept that Goldsmith underscores with his Buddhist philosophy. “Buddha said, ‘Only do what I teach if it makes sense in the context of your own life,’” Goldsmith says. “When I coach people, I tell them I’m going to give them ideas—tell me what works for you and let’s do it. If it’s not going to work, you’re not going to do it anyway.”

Goldsmith hopes that speakers can challenge themselves to improve not just what they say and how they say it, but how it can make a positive change in someone else’s life. “I think we often make the mistake of focusing on the speaker or coach or author, rather than the participant,” he says. “It’s all about the person sitting there, what he or she

chooses to do. It’s not about how clever the speaker is, how funny the presentation is, how clever the author is, or if the coach is a good listener. It’s really about the person and whether she does what’s taught.

“All of the people in our organization talk about good things,” he says. “If people do them, they almost all work. If they don’t, they’re just like all those diet books sitting on shelves and exercise machines collecting dust.”

Jake Poinier has been a full-time freelance writer since 1999. In addition to commercial copywriting for clients such as Dial Corporation, Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, and Apollo Group, his magazine and newspaper credits include articles in USA Today and Golf Illustrated.

On Learning from Your Audience

“I always teach people to try something with their children—ask them directly what they can do to be a better parent. Well, this one woman contacted me who had applied it in reverse with her mother. She simply asked her, ‘What can I do to be a better daughter?’ The mom answered, “I live way out in the country, all alone since your dad died, and I have to take this long walk up the drive to the mailbox and it’s almost always empty. It makes me lonely. It would mean so much to me if you sent me something, a picture or a card, so that when I go to the mailbox there might be something in it.’

“So she took this advice to heart, and started doing it, and what did it
mean to her mother? Everything. What did it cost her? Nothing. And so
this woman called me and just said thank you. She and her mom have a
better life. What's that worth?”—Marshall Goldsmith
Sneak Preview

At the 2008 NSA Convention, Marshall Goldsmith will take audience members through an experiential activity based on the concept he coins as “ feedfor-ward” in What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. He’ll also offer tips on how to implement the technique yourself at home and in the office.

Here’s the drill: Attendees will need to pick a specific area for personal improvement, and then talk to as many people as possible in five or 10 minutes to solicit ideas on how to make those improvements. The rules are simple: The receiver of ideas isn’t allowed to judge or critique them, and the deliverer of ideas can’t talk about the past, only suggesting ideas for the future.

“Whatever ideas you get, you have to shut up, listen, take notes and simply say thank you,” says Goldsmith. “That can be hard for speakers, because we love to talk all the time.” He notes that this exercise differs from most self-improvement activities, since it’s focused on a future that can be changed, rather than dredging up the past. “People describe the process as positive or even fun,” he says. “How many times have you heard that about getting feedback?"