HUMOR ME
Quips, tips and parting shots
Show Me the Funny
Many times I get asked, “Sir, would you please stop staring at me?” And other times I get asked, “Dale, where do;you;find;all;your
funny;stuff?”;My;answer;to;the;first
question is always, “I’m sorry, I have a
lazy eye.” My answer to the second is
“Everywhere.” For example, I recently
had the opportunity to attend a taping
of The Jerry Springer Show. It was one
of Jerry’s last shows before he left
Chicago for some tax-free haven in
Connecticut. It was a dream and/or
nightmare come true and packed full of
funny stuff.
To me, Jerry Springer is a hero. He
is a 65-year-old man of limited talent,
who found a niche in the broadcasting world and has been exploiting it for
18 years. If you have never seen The
Jerry Springer Show, where have you
been hiding? It is aired in almost every
country around the globe and probably shows up on your TV schedule
several times a day. It is a hybrid show
that features the realism of professional
wrestling with the editorial integrity
of You Tube. It is a broadcasting train
wreck and a lot of fun to watch.
My experience with Jerry happened
when three of my male friends and I
attended a taping in Chicago, not too
far from where I live. Jerry taped two
shows a day while in Chicago, and his
shows featured “guests” who included
hookers, people who live in trailers,
people with tattoos, people who like
to wrestle, big people, little people, fat
people, skinny people, and men who
became women but they missed being
men so they went back. In other words,
the guest roster featured a wide variety
of miscreants.
We attended a show with three
separate scenarios, with the best one
featuring the problems of two couples
from the south who all work at The
Waffle;House,;and;have;been;having
relations with each other. The amazing
part is that none of them were related
by blood! The two men eventually
started;to;fight;and;before;you;could
say “Jer-ry,” their shirts came off, their
neckties stayed on, and they wailed
away at each other’s doughy white
bodies until the show’s bouncers pulled
them apart.
As for the nudity on the show, there
wasn’t much to look at on the day I
was there. Two women in the audience
earned;their;“Jerry;Beads”;by;flash-ing their hooters, but I was expecting
much more.
Overall, I would rate the show “ 6
Cousins” out of a possible 10. After the
taping,;we;all;filed;out;past;the;offi-cial Jerry Springer souvenir store where
the best thing on sale was a beer mug
bearing the inscription, “I’m so drunk,
I could kiss my cousin.” Jer-ry, Jer-ry,
Jer-ry. The funny is everywhere. All you
have to do is look for it.
Speaker and emcee Dale Irvin, CSP, CPAE, is known as The Professional Summarizer. For more information, visit http:// daleirvin.com or contact him
at justjoking@aol.com.
