blog post with rainbows and sunshine,
then it’s time to get real and get a new
theme. But how?
Read a colleague’s book. Listen to
the latest self-help trend in music. Katy
Perry says you’re a firework and it’s
time to make ‘em go “ah, ah, ah”. Lady
Gaga says you were born this way, and
Pink tells you it’s freakin’ perfect (or
something like that!). Facebook shares
an uplifting self-help quote every 1.6
seconds. Twitter’s “pump you up”
stream is even faster. Better themes are
screaming at you from all channels, but
you have the power to select a new one
that builds your confidence and stops
actually ask “what’s next?” Do it scared
or you’ll never know what to do next
to get the business.
Do you create new products and
marketing every five minutes because
you’re afraid someone will have already
heard what you know? There will
always be people who’ve not received
the gift of your information or wisdom.
Stick with it and keep moving.
The fear that stops you is nothing
more than the voices in your head
telling you there is risk ahead. When
those voices come from other people,
we call those folks difficult. As the
author of Make Difficult People
Disappear, I can tell you there’s an
easier way, but making your own difficult voices go away is more important.
There is always great reward in pushing
through the fear and growing from
taking the risk.
direction. What is your perception? Do
you instantly surmise that he doesn’t
like you or he’s mad at you? If you
assume this perception is true, it eventually will become a belief. When you
believe a person who failed to acknowledge you doesn’t like you, your brain
will look for evidence to support that
belief and allow you to use it to explain
all future interactions.
One wrongly perceived 10-second
hallway encounter could completely
change the nature of your relationship
with that person. Instead of succumbing to your perception, approach the
person later and ask if he saw and
heard you earlier in the hallway. There
could be many valid explanations for
his behavior, such as daydreaming, or
he wasn’t wearing his contact lenses or
DO IT SCARED
Fear is a common ally when we’re
surrounded by talk about the dismal
economy, fewer bookings, and a big
client who might walk instead of renew.
Have no fear; instead, walk to the
bookstore and get Take the Stairs, by
Rory Vaden, MBA, a hands-on practical manual on how to apply discipline.
Although he never explicitly says it is a
book about discipline, he addresses that
very topic. In it, he tells the tale of a
claustrophobic woman who was deathly
afraid of heights and had been tragically
caught in a burning office building. She
wouldn’t go downstairs to evacuate
until a fireman, who found her hiding
under a desk waiting to die, shouted,
“Come on!” She said she couldn’t
because she was scared. He said, “Well,
come on anyway and do it scared!” So,
off she went.
QUESTION YOUR PERCEPTIONS
On stage and off, there’s no question
that we talk to ourselves. How many
voices do you hear, and what are they
saying? Do you question your voices or
do you argue with your own data? It is
important to pay attention to your perceptions and vigilantly question their
validity. Misperceptions can ruin relationships, reduce your productivity and
rob you of self-confidence.
Case in point: You are in a hallway
filled with people and you make eye
contact and say “hello” to a social
acquaintance walking right past you.
He seems to be looking directly at
you, but he doesn’t respond. In fact,
he doesn’t even nod his head in your
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
There is a preponderance of information on bookshelves and in blogs,
videos and podcasts that encourages us
to banish fears and doubts and believe
in ourselves. We communicate these
same positive messages to our audiences, but only share our personal tales
of woe in private conversations with
close friends. But what if you took your
uplifting messages to heart and applied
all of the well-meaning advice to yourself? Then, you can rely on the positive
voices in your head to cheer you on
during and after your presentations in
which you help audiences build their
self-esteem and confidence. Your inner
voices will give you the energy to stay
in business and help more audiences.
OVERCOME YOUR FEAR
Do you tell yourself not to go up to
people of a certain position in your
association because you’re afraid they
won’t talk to you? Do it scared and
marvel at how delighted they are by the
company and compliment.
Do you fail to ask for the booking
because you assume they’ll say no if you
Monica Wofford, CSP, is the chair of the Speaker editorial advisory board and a leadership development expert and the CEO of Contagious Companies, Inc. She develops leaders, who were often managers that got promoted, but not prepared to deal with the issues of confidence in leadership. Her most requested training and coaching programs, Contagious Leadership and Contagious Confidence, have been
enjoyed by managers and leaders worldwide. Her latest book, Make Difficult People Disappear, deals
with the difficult voices and the people who share them. Contact her at Monica@
ContagiousCompanies.com. or www.ContagiousCompanies.com, or call 1-866-0121.